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Astrology is the study of the correlation between celestial movements of the sun, moon and planets
with earthly events or human personality, and is often used for self-discovery or guidance. It uses a
birth chart — a map of the sky on the day or your birth — to interpret life patterns.
However, astrology is not in the business of telling the complete truth, writes astrologer Charlene Lichtenstein. That’s why traits like “cheap”, “spiteful” and “ugly” become “thrifty”, “intense” and “good personality” are often found amongst the predictions.
Charlene Lichtenstein is the most widely published astrologer in the gay and lesbian press including popular American
outlets like The Washington Blade and The Philadelphia Gay News. We asked her for the
real truth about that guy you fancy, and she thinks you should find out his star sign before you get involved.
Then can consult the following long before you start cracking that bottle of champagne to celebrate catching that new man.
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| ARIES March 21-April 20 Aggressive is one word for it, but domineering, overbearing and arrogant are more like Aries the Ram. Rams are about a subtle as tight Levis stuffed with socks and think nothing of pointing out the deficiencies of others. Aries’ idea of parity is when they get 99% and work on the rest. In war, they are not only vicious fighters, they are also the profiteers and opportunists. Mitigating factors: Great to shop with (such a deal!) but wear a disguise. Those born under the sign of Aries include Lucrezia Borgia and Adolf Hitler. |
| TAURUS April 21-May 21 Astrology books say they are persevering but HA! Stubborn, stubborn, stubborn. Taureans are slow to catch on, conservative to the point of reactionary and appallingly gluttonous. There’s no stopping them once they’ve made their mind made up. Unfortunately, it takes them so long to make up their mind, nobody’s around to hear what they finally said. Mitigating factors: Fun at orgies especially if catered. Those born under the sign of Taurus include Lenin, Saddam Hussein and Eva Peron. |
| GEMINI May 22-June 21 Fickle, flighty and just plain annoying; sound vaguely familiar? Geminis are always looking for the best deal for themselves even if it means stepping on the backs of old friends to get it. On the bright side, Geminis toss off friends as fast as they make them so there aren’t too many old friends left to lose. Mitigating factors: Great for cast-offs and leftovers. Those born under the sign of Gemini include Latoya Jackson and Pat Boone. |
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For Entertainment Purposes Only. Madam Lichtenstein, a Sagittarian, doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings but can’t help it. © Charlene Lichtenstein, All Rights Reserved | |