OutUK - Sex Talk : Speaking Of Mutual Masturbation

SPEAKING OF MUTUAL MASTURBATION

Three cheers for the circle jerk! Mutual masturbation has been around at least as long as the Boy Scouts, most likely dating back to the dawn of time. It's safe to assume that ever since men began to sit around campfires, they've been whacking each other off. It's still, though, a great way to have sex.

It is, along with 69-ing, one of the most egalitarian forms of sex there is; no top, no bottom, just mutually assured genital stimulation. Maybe for that reason, it's sometimes assumed to be "foreplay," a curtain-raiser to penetration. And that's a shame.

Jerking a guy's meat while he plays with yours can be a delight in and of itself. As they say in techno-speak, it's a feedback loop--both of you reacting to the other's touch, each doing something similar to the other, but not the same. Because no two men's masturbatory repertoires are the same, it's also a learning experience-- you get to find out just what kind of stroking, squeezing, and slapping gets your partner off, and, who knows, you may pick up a tip or two that'll come in handy during subsequent solitary wanks.

Mutual j.o. has some pleasant social overtones, too. It forms the horny basis of "Want to come over, watch some videos, and jerk each other off?" scenes. It's a friendly kind of thing, and, with its regular-bloke feel, is perfect for men who may not be gay-identified, or who'd like to keep things on a good-mates level. It's perfect for impromptu carousing, too, since the only equipment required is some spit and a Kleenex or two. It's also an any-number-can-play game, more likely than other group play to include all concerned on a equal footing, er, handing.

Unlike activities requiring latex, mutual jerk-off is partnered sex that can use any kind of lube, no matter how oily or greasy. (You might want to watch out for that nice new sofa, though.) For safety's sake, it might be a good idea to use shared lube only if it's in a pump dispenser or pour bottle, rather then a tub of goo. That being said, mutual masturbation is pretty damn safe. Transmitting STDs is possible but unlikely, especially if other guy's cum or pre-cum is kept away from your slit. In particular, from what we know, mutual j.o. seems unlikely to transmit HIV, but it's a bad idea to use someone else's cum as your lube.

In the early days of the AIDS epidemic, jacking off's low-risk nature led to a boomlet in wank-off parties across the Atlantic, often put on by a national network of party-givers called the "Jacks." The rules of these parties were pretty simple. You paid your admission, stripped off what clothes you wish, and went at it, solo, in pairs, or in groups. Any kind of oral or anal sex was off limits, and the friendly, fluid nature of the activities helped put the fun back in sex during a truly anxious time. These parties are still put on in a number of places, and similar soirees are pretty easy to arrange, either as a commercial enterprise or an invitational night for a bunch of mates.

Be it a quick relief of tension, an excruciatingly pleasant exercise in extended stimulation, or a fun-filled group spurt, mutual cockplay rocks. There's no reason to let that hard-on go unattended when there's sure to be someone out there willing to lend a hand.

Simon Sheppard

San Francisco artist and activist Simon Sheppard is best known for his contributions to the erotic literary scene. He wrote hundreds of stories that appeared in S/M magazines; erotic anthologies; and over twenty editions of Best Gay Erotica and Best American Erotica. His Sextalk column has appeared on OutUK for more than 20 years. You can find out more about Simon Sheppard in this OutUK feature and tribute, or take a look at some of his many books that are still available:

Looking for something very sexy and just as smart? Man on Man collects the best and hottest gay sex writing by Simon, who is also co-editor of Rough Stuff: Tales of Gay Men, Sex, and Power as well as a collection of gay erotica called Hotter Than Hell.
In KINKORAMA : Dispatches from the Front Lines of Perversion he takes readers behind the unmarked doors and black vinyl curtains that lead to the sometimes shocking, often hilarious, relentlessly arousing scenarios of extreme sex. There are also stories of bears in Tales from the Bear Cult: Beat Bear Stories from the Best Magazines.