SPEAKING OF ANAL SEX

It may not be the most spotlessly hygienic place, but that's no reason to stay away. The butthole is, after all, a primo erogenous zone; not all the overzealous toilet training in the world can undo that. With care, patience, and optional douching, the nerve-rich ass can provide pleasures galore.

And things feel at least as great on the other side of the fuck - on the bottom end. It's not just the anal nerves that sing; a hard-on's direct stimulation of the prostate gland can send shivers of delight up Bottomboy's spine. "There's nothing," says one satisfied fuckee, "like being plowed by a power top, getting plowed for a good, long time."

Novices often think that being banged means pain, but it all depends on readiness, relaxation, and really big globs of lube. Some lubes like Rear Entry even contain a mild desensitizer to make things easier. Getting fucked should feel really, really good. The first time can often feel weird, like having to go to the bathroom, but with some practice, interpreting all those sensations as what they are - pleasure - becomes second nature. Practice, as they say, makes perverte...uh, perfect. "I've read more than once," says one literate fellow, "that getting humped three days in a row is a good way to get hooked on it."

Endurance does have its limits, though; some guys get sorer than others, and the anal lining, though stretchy, is delicate (which is one reason why condoms are a must for safe anal sex). Even the happiest hole may feel a bit of discomfort at first, but if pain continues, something's wrong - withdrawal and reassessment are called for. When a bottom's facial expression morphs from a blissed-out grin to a gritting of teeth, it's time for the top to take a break.

With the advent of HIV, whatever anxieties guys had about anal sex took a nasty swerve. It's important to feel relaxed and secure about buttfucking; it makes the whole experience much more enjoyable. A trusting asshole is an easy-to-enter asshole, the sort least likely to provide a daunting, deflating barrier to a latex-sheathed shaft. So remember: properly-used condoms, while not absolutely foolproof, do get the risk of HIV transmission way, way, way down, and the risk-reducing strategy of having the condomized top pull out before shooting is a valid one, the kind of thing mutually decided on beforehand. It is, after all, important to leave your mind clear for all the thoroughly delightful sensations of anal penetration.

Because anal sex can be so intense, and because the world at large views buttsex as "What Only Queer Men Do," there's a temptation to think of anal penetration as "real gay sex," and all the other fun stuff as somehow second-rate. But that's just silly; even if all you ever do is jack off another guy, no one's going to take away your Gay Card. As one perfectly homosexual man puts it, "I tried anal sex from both directions, but didn't really enjoy it. Sucking's what I really enjoy, so sucking's what I do." Which certainly seems reasonable enough.

Posterior pleasure, like any libidinal fun, is strictly optional, and don't let anybody tell you different. But if you are into anal sex, knowing what you're doing, and doing it carefully and well, should make your sphincter, schlong, or both - and your partner's, too - very happy indeed.

Simon Sheppard

San Francisco artist and activist Simon Sheppard is best known for his contributions to the erotic literary scene. He wrote hundreds of stories that appeared in S/M magazines; erotic anthologies; and over twenty editions of Best Gay Erotica and Best American Erotica. His Sextalk column has appeared on OutUK for more than 20 years. You can find out more about Simon Sheppard in this OutUK feature and tribute, or take a look at some of his many books that are still available:

       

Looking for something very sexy and just as smart? Man on Man collects the best and hottest gay sex writing by Simon, who is also co-editor of Rough Stuff: Tales of Gay Men, Sex, and Power as well as a collection of gay erotica called Hotter Than Hell.

In KINKORAMA : Dispatches from the Front Lines of Perversion he takes readers behind the unmarked doors and black vinyl curtains that lead to the sometimes shocking, often hilarious, relentlessly arousing scenarios of extreme sex. There are also stories of bears in Tales from the Bear Cult: Beat Bear Stories from the Best Magazines.