This Week - Partner's wishes, Jack offs and Porn shoots

Marcus says: I am 25 and my partner is in his fifties. He had an operation last month and he cannot take part in strenous activity, and sex is not an option for him at the moment. He gives me a blow job to satisfy me but he says that I need more than that as the weather has become hotter and I am getting erections all the time. I am fine with the oral service he gives me but he has started to take me to a escort who is 60 so that I can be relieved of my sexual energy. I told him I do not need to visit an escort but he insists. In fact he takes me to the escorts house and watches to makes sure I perform sexually. I do get satisfied in a way as I do come but the escort enjoys me more. The escort has even suggested I be left with him overnight which my partner has agreed to. He cannot keep his hands off me but as my partner asks him how I did, I have to perform sexually. My partner is like a father figure to me and I do not want to disobey him or hurt his feelings. I have asked him if he gets jealous but he says no as the escort is old and that it is for a few months only. What should I do?

James says: Hi Marcus, well this is a difficult one to answer. It is strange that you haven't actually told him the truth. If you really don't want to see the escort then be upfront and honest about this. Explain that you don't need this, and are totally happy without it, and you will wait for him to recover from his operation before having any more sex.

It could well be however that he actually likes to watch you have sex with this guy. Also if you feel you have to perform then that doesn't sound like it is something you are really happy about. In fact to be honest it appears that you are behaving more like an escort yourself by performing sex to keep other people happy - both your partner and his friend!

Why don't you try and discuss this with your partner and explain how you both feel and find out what the rationale is behind what is happening. Maybe he is doing it for you, but it is something that you don't want? If so, then by talking about it you can sort out any confusions that exist between you! If he is doing it for himself, you need to be honest with him by saying you don't like it, and he needs to be honest with you by admitting that is what's really happening.

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Jack's on a jack off question: James, I like to masturbate, but I am getting bored of the usual hand jerking. Any great and/or creative ways that I can try?

James replies: Hi Jack, well if you are getting bored of jacking off then it certainly is time to try some new techniques. It should really be a wonderful and exciting experience.

The easiest way to try something new is to use the other hand! We all usually only masturbate with either the left or the right hand and by changing over to the other hand you can give yourself a totally new feeling.

You should also try and alter the way you hold your dick. Try using just 2 fingers (the thumb and forefinger) on either side of your dick, try using the whole hand but in a rotating motion up and down your dick or just try rubbing the tip of your dick. You could also try using lube as that makes it feel better, or try different types of lube. It's worth experimenting with some of the silicon based lubes, they feel very different from the water based ones. All these lubes are available from the OutUK store ShopGay.

Some guys also like to use penis sheaths or stimulators which can be bought from sex stores or online from ShopGay. Other guys like to use fruit (like melons), and putting on a condom and shooting into that can be good fun too! There are loads of weird and wonderful ways of getting yourself off so just experiment with a few new things and see which ones work for you! Put some thought and effort in, and you'll soon get to have more fun!

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Karl has a question too: Hi James. I have always wanted to model for a website, and think I might do it soon. I was wondering if it's expected or indeed allowed to have sex with the photographer. I don't really mind if I have to, and it could well be that I want to once I get there as I like older guys, but I just wondered what the form normally is? What are the telltale questions or signs to look for?

James answers: Hi Karl, I guess it depends on the type of shoot you do! If you are just doing a photo shoot with one photographer then it is quite possible that you could end up having sex with the photographer. Also if you are doing a solo shoot then they can be quite boring as it is just you on your own and often it can help if you ask the photographer to assist if you can't get hard! Just ask him to help you.

If you are making a movie on the other hand then that would be different. A lot of the professional companies have quite a few people on set and also normally they shoot scenes with at least 2 models so you are actually expected to have sex on set anyway, but only with other models!

You also mention having sex with older guys but again this depends on who you do the shoot with. Some companies, like the one I work for, FreshSX, have a policy of using cameramen and photographers who are actually models themselves and they have trained up to go behind the scenes. It doesn't always follow that you will be on set with older guys, some photographers are in their 20's, some 30's some 40's. It just depends on the company you work with!

At the end of the day I would say that if you are on a solo shoot with a photographer then it is not expected that you have sex with the photographer, but obviously it's possible that it might happen if you want it to, and the photograher does too. Many photographers do not, many do.

You need to make sure that whatever you do you are happy with it and if something happens that you are not happy with then say so. You could also ask before the shoot what is expected so that you know before hand!

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