This Week - Friends, HIV dangers and Help I'm just not spunky

Jake's helping out a friend: Hi James, I know a guy who is straight and he does go out with girls. About a year ago he stayed round my house, as he had just come back from training and he said his legs and feet were hurting and he put them up on the settee next to where I was sitting. I touched his feet as he had white socks on and I love guys in white socks. He did not say anything and I began to touch his feet and massage his feet and over the weeks I massaged his calves. Now when he stays around I take off his trainers and socks and massage his feet. Sometimes when he falls asleep or is very relaxed, I have noticed he gets an erection soon after I massage his feet and calves. Is he getting turned on by what I am doing? I am very attracted by him and I even touched his biceps and six pack as he showed me how toned up he was becoming for the summer and he asked me to feel his muscles. I really want to explore more of his body and I want him to want me but he has never mentioned anything about being gay. Once when he stayed the night, we slept on the floor and during the night I woke up and he was sleeping right next to me. I also felt he had a very big erection and I could feel his erect penis touching my backside. I moved my bottom up and down a bit and he stayed close to me and put his arm half over me. About an hour later he moved in his sleep and slept on his back. I looked at his boxers and I could still see him having an erection and I am not sure whether he had a wet dream or whether it was just pre-seminal fluid but I could see a wet patch on his boxers where his penis was standing erect. I am not sure what to do but I really love him.

James says: Hi Jake well falling for straight men is not uncommon but you also need to question how 'straight' he is as well.

Most people are in fact bisexual and the degree of how curious or turned on you get by same sex relations depends on the individual. Some guys will say they are straight and they will have girlfriends but it doesn't mean that they have never had relations with a guy or that they aren't interested in the idea. They may not want to suddenly only have relations with guys and declare to the world they are gay but that doesn't mean that sometimes they aren't turned on by male to male contact.

If he gets hard when you are around him or touch him then it would seem that he is ok with physical contact between you. Take it slowly and see what he is interested in. If you are friends then he shouldn't be offended and if it is something he likes then you have solved your problem!

You say you love him but that is a very strong emotion for you to be showing at this stage - maybe you have feelings of lust for this guy, but be careful here. You could end up being very hurt in this situation, and love is a two way emotion. In addition, should you actually tell him you love him that would more than likely freak him out big time, at this stage at least, so be very careful with that!

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John has a sticky situation: James, can you tell me, what are the chances of getting HIV if you got spunk in your eye?

James replies: The most common ways that HIV is transmitted is through unprotected anal sex and sharing needles, however, in order to have less risk of catching HIV then you also have to avoid getting semen in any body cavity including your mouth, eyes, nose, ears, cock, or indeed in any open skin cuts.

Although the risks of catching HIV through getting semen in your mouth and/or eyes is recognised to be low there is still a theoretical risk. It's not however one to really have sleepless nights over.

It happens to all of us at some time that we have sex with a guy who is able to shoot long distances and some of his cum shoots into the eye. If this happens just wash it out immediately and try not to rub the eye. If this does happen to you and you are particularly concerned then you can go to an STD clinic and seek further advice from some of the experts there. Don't just leave it and worry yourself sick.

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Christo says: Hi James! I've been wanting to ask this for a long time, but now it's affecting my relationship. Help me! My semen volume has dropped noticeably and my partner just laughs it off. But I know it's having an impact; besides, it's affecting my enjoyment. I've read your earlier responses to this topic, but I have also seen expensive supplements on the web for this very problem. Please help with any advice as sex now is almost anticlimactic [pardon the pun] and it's not as if I copulate every day or several times a day. Are these expensive supplements safe and do they work? This is not something I could go to a GP about! Thanks.

James answers: Hi Christo, well sperm production depends on many different factors. Some factors can be adjusted quite simply, e.g. smoking and drinking less, not using recreational drugs, eating healthily and taking regular exercise. All these can have an effect on your sperm production as well as stress, although that can be much harder to control. It is also important to get enough sleep as well.

As for taking supplements there is not so much evidence to prove that they work as they are mostly herbal remedies which are not fully regulated. Some people who use them claim they work however that could also be psychosomatic.

As long as they aren't too expensive and you aren't allergic to any of the ingredients then you could try them and see what happens. It is important to be careful with any herbal supplements as they can have a significant effect on the body and should be taken as indicated and stopped being used if any adverse reaction occurs.

One of the most popular ways of producing more semen is to abstain for a few days but you say you don't have sex every day anyway so I assume that is not the issue here. Again, like so many issues, it may be worth making an appointment at a sexual health clinic to ask them for advice, and there really is no need to be embarrassed as they deal with issues like this all day!!

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