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Astrology is the study of the correlation between celestial movements of the sun, moon and planets
with earthly events or human personality, and is often used for self-discovery or guidance. It uses a
birth chart — a map of the sky on the day or your birth — to interpret life patterns.
However, astrology is not in the business of telling the complete truth, writes astrologer Charlene Lichtenstein. That’s why traits like “cheap”, “spiteful” and “ugly” become “thrifty”, “intense” and “good personality” are often found amongst the predictions.
Charlene Lichtenstein is the most widely published astrologer in the gay and lesbian press including popular American
outlets like The Washington Blade and The Philadelphia Gay News. We asked her for the
real truth about that guy you fancy, and she thinks you should find out his star sign before you get involved.
Then can consult the following long before you start cracking that bottle of champagne to celebrate catching that new man.
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| LIBRA September 24-October 23 Libras lounge around and say that the world doesn’t appreciate them. The fact is that they are lazy and have no intention of making any effort on their own behalf. The astrology books say Libras are charming and diplomatic, but fail to say that they use this to gain sympathy and take advantage. Of all the zodialogical representations, Libra is the only machine (scales). That means they have no heart. Mitigating factors: Good therapy practice. Makes you look like you’re getting ahead, comparatively. Those born under the sign of Libra include: Gore Vidal, Heinrich Himmler, Lee Harvey Oswald. |
| SCORPIO October 24-November 22 If Scorpios tend to get the toughest rap in astrology, it’s because they deserve it. Nasty, spiteful, bitter and conniving don’t even scratch the surface of their layered personality. Sneaky and treacherous even as a kid, their idea of a pleasant afternoon is to pull the wings off flies and slip them in the fruit cake mix. Deep down, Scorpios are the devil on a bad day. Mitigating factors: ...well let me think of something cruel... Those born under the sign of Scorpio include: Roseanne Barr, Charles Manson . |
| SAGITTARIUS November 23-December 21 Astrology books say that Sagittarians are clumsy, frank and loud. Why would anyone want to hang around a social embarrassment like that? They can’t keep a secret. They insult multitudes with one “accidental” remark and they dress badly. The fact is that Sags are loud mouths and ugly ones at that. Astrology books agree that Sagittarians resemble horses. They omit saying what end. Mitigating factors: Interesting to observe awkward moments getting worse. Those born under the sign of Sagittarius include: Kurt Waldheim, Joseph Stalin. |
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For Entertainment Purposes Only. Madam Lichtenstein, a Sagittarian, doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings but can’t help it. © Charlene Lichtenstein, All Rights Reserved | |