SPEAKING OF THE TRICK FROM HELL

This sort of danger is more prevalent in the Internet age. Time was you'd almost always meet a man face-to-face before you invited him over to your place. Even answering a classified ad was an elaborate, time-consuming ritual. Nowadays, though, you can get horny, go online, and end up with an order-out fuck in minutes, on the basis of little more than an enticing screen name and a hot digital photo.

Eric's scabies gambit worked just fine for him. But let's face it, a true serial killer is unlikely to quail at the thought of parasites. So when entering a strange situation (or inviting a stranger to your place) an exit strategy might not be the worst thing to keep in mind. If you find yourself at the I-gotta-get-the-fuck-out stage of things, agility, physical strength, cleverness, and willpower all can help. Most helpful of all, though, is not getting yourself in that sort of jam in the first place.

Rule number one: Don't think only with your dick. Most of us have a pretty good sense of intuition, but a stiffy can starve your brain of blood. Whether at a bar or a computer keyboard, stop cruising long enough to try getting an accurate impression of the male in question. Ask him a question or two that requires a response more complex than "I want to fuck your ass."

If you're shopping for meat online, remember that people can lie more easily when they type than when they talk. "I just don't hook up with guys from AOL unless we've spoken by phone first," says one cautious cruiser. "It's not foolproof, but it's better than just typing 'u want 2 cum over?'"

Still, guys take risks. One dominant Daddy marvels, "I'm constantly amazed by the number of strangers who just walk into my house and let me blindfold them and tie them up. When I switch and go out to bottom in a kink scene, I always leave the guy's address with my flatmate. Maybe that's a bit paranoid, but it lets me enter the scene feeling more relaxed."

And if you have sex when you're high? It goes without saying that one's sense of judgement is pretty well shot if you're blotto drunk or bombed on drugs. While many of us use intoxicants precisely because they lower inhibitions, if you find yourself with regret-filled morning afters, it might be time to take a long, hard look at your behaviour.

Do keep in mind that Mr. Right Now is not your very last chance to ever have sex. If he seems dangerous, or threatening, or weird (or at least weirder than you want to deal with), walk away. Don't invite him over. Or kick him out. You will, in the long run, be glad you did.

And hey, you can always jack off.

Simon Sheppard

Now here's your chance to meet the man behind this column. OutUK has an interview with Simon Sheppard or you can take a look at some of his books that are currently available:

       

Looking for something very sexy and just as smart? Man on Man collects the best and hottest gay sex writing by Simon, who is also co-editor of Rough Stuff: Tales of Gay Men, Sex, and Power as well as a collection of gay erotica called Hotter Than Hell.

In KINKORAMA : Dispatches from the Front Lines of Perversion he takes readers behind the unmarked doors and black vinyl curtains that lead to the sometimes shocking, often hilarious, relentlessly arousing scenarios of extreme sex. There are also stories of bears in Tales from the Bear Cult: Beat Bear Stories from the Best Magazines.