Up to mischief in Charles Street

Wanna dance? There are three main devotedly gay clubs in Brighton, each offering varied nightly flavours to suit most tastes. Secrets (5 Steine Street; 01273 609 672) is now called Storm and aimed at a hipper clubbing crowd. Nights include GBH (Hard House) on the first Friday of the month, Fuck The Pain Away (Electro) on the second Sunday and XXL on the second Friday.

Revenge (32-34 Old Steine; T: 01273 606 064) claims to be the biggest club in the south of England outside London - not that we want to compare ourselves with that place do we boys? - and plays to a young, mainstream crowd across two floors. Busy every night of the week, but especially Lollipop for cheese on Fridays and Fusion for house Saturdays. Enjoy face-to-face urinals - especially if you're tall!

Smaller, cooler Envy (Marine Parade; T: 01273 624 091) above the Charles Street bar has Queer Nation on the last Saturday of the month and the girls-only Wet Pussy on the first Friday, and sometimes Wild Fruit on the first Sunday of the month. There is also Wild Fruit Underground at The Zap Club on the second Saturday of the month.

Wild Fruit is Brighton's big night out at Creation (West Street) on either the first Sunday or Monday of the month.

Currently the only other regular night is Dynamite Boogaloo, a mixed trashy cabaret night hosted by Boogaloo Stu at The Joint on West Street every Thursday.

LET OFF STEAM

If the stylish Lane shops and cafes between the Palace Pier and the Pavilion aren't quite gay enough for you, then get your saucy cards at Cardome 2000 (47a St James's Street; T: 01273 692 916) or try Cafe 22 (129 St James's Street; T: 01273 626 682) which claims to be the only gay shop and coffee bar in town - whatever rings your bell. Clone Zone (32 St James's Street; T: 01273 626 442) is as you'd expect - sex shop as mini-mart.

Brighton has one of the highest concentrations of eateries in the UK. But if you're the kind who hankers for queer fodder, you might try Oscar's (68 Portland Road, Hove; T: 01273 821 335) in Hove. And hats off to the humble Sandwich Shop (36 St James's Street; T: 01273 608066): In the heart of everything, you can perch and eat yourself silly and healthy for under a fiver - 'friendly' wouldn't begin to describe it.

On a sunny day West Beach between the two piers is the obvious place for the great and beautiful of Brighton to bare all. But more fun by far is the official, male-dominated nudist beach about a ten minute jaunt along the front towards the marina. Surrounded by neck-high pebbles banks, the merest glimmer of sunshine excuses gay men out to strip in force. Mainly older predatory sorts but no less fun for that!

Just back from said beach are the infamous Duke's Mound bushes. Again, it would take a force ten blizzard to keep Brighton's queer male masses away from this long expanse of foliage: over half admit to regular patronage. All sorts, day or night: Even on a midweek morn, you'll find a mix of horny pensioners back from the post office and randy students offloading between lectures.

BED & BREAKFAST

We stayed at Montpelier Hall Hotel (17 Montpelier Terrace; T: 01273 203 599)which is a large, unique Regency Villa of Italianate style with period drawing and dining rooms and a beautiful exotic garden where - if you're lucky - you might just get the grand treatment by owner Roger during parties and BBQs surrounded by cute uniformed servant boys. Little advertised and moderately priced, it's a real Brighton gem, a short walk yet a far cry from the roar of the sea and the madding Kemptown crowd.

LAST RESORT

It's true that most gay inhabitants of Brighton arrived from other parts of the UK, not all waiting until retirement. Many younger singles and couples come here to settle, often commuting up to London for work to have the best of both worlds. Most of the rest of Brighton's gay tidal ebb and flow comes from the surroundings Downs each night - from Portsmouth to Rye - or from London on a weekend.

Some claim it is uniquely cosmopolitan amongst British seaside resorts, a kind of London-on-sea with none of your Blackpool tat! Absolutely: if 'cosmopolitan' means generally white and fairly well off, eating out regularly, buying designs and labels and sipping the frothy stuff.

Brighton certainly lacks the sexy, raw buzz of many a manly scene. That said, it does boast a uniquely comfortable, relaxed and heady, salty air and not just in summer. Indeed, it's probably out of season - amid a haunting, quintessentially English backdrop of mile upon mile of aqua-pastel promenade paint and a ghostly, derelict West Pier moored offshore like a washed-up Titanic against the low blinding sun - that G-A-Y truly runs through its soul as through a sticky pink six inch stick of candy rock.

If you haven't been before, don't wait as long as I. And if you have, go take another look.

Updated February 2005. Brighton is little more than an hour away direct from London Victoria by Southern Railway.

Pubs & Bars